November 29
Memory of a Song
From the moment I decided I was goin’ to bang out this piece, one song wouldn’t stop playin’ in my head, it’s a song I haven’t heard in a long time. The song used to be one of the mood-alterin’ jams we (me and boy Ameh were roommates but more than that, we were fam) would slide on whenever we brought chicks to the flat back when we were in the university. The song made most girls mushy when they got up in the room!
The Room, hmm *smilin’ to myself* Day or night it doesn’t matter in our room, it was always dark (the heavy curtain/blanket were never drawn) and cozy in there, even a nun would be so relaxed, she would damn the consequences and gladly give some of that goodies up! Ask my boy Victor A.K.A Viccolo, the great pussy super hero (he was a flatmate), and he’ll testify to the hypnotic power that room had on ladies (if you don’t know who the legendary Viccolo is, read the blog titled ALBINIOD up in here).
But of course, apart from the disarmin’ power the room possessed, you gotta have game and I had game! Yeah, I know, there I go tooting my own horn again, ah ha! See, I knew what to do and when to do what to do when it’s seduction O’clock, that nigga Robert Green ain’t got shit on me. It was like an unwritten rule for us (Ameh, Victor and me) that the moment a girl entered the room, the only source of light allowed to be on was the lamp shade on the table and the red and green glows from the CD player, nothin’ else was needed except the music.
What! I fuckin’ got carried away there for a moment, pardon a brotha, willya? Anyways back to the song I was talkin’ about earlier, it was done by an Irish fam (Andrea, Caroline, Sharon and Jim Corrs) otherwise known as The Corrs.
“Somebody for someone”
‘Cause if there’s somebody for someone
Yeah, look at me, somebody for someone
If you don’t know the song, YouTube that shit!
Memory a Beauty Contest
Am not against beauty contests, am jus not a fan, ok? I don’t even watch that shit! Why? Because there’s no way in hell you’re goin’ to pick one scrawny bitchass broad and tell me that’s the most beautiful girl in this whole world. No sir, I disagree!
Ok, I lied! So I’ve watched one or two before, sue me! Lol. But on a serious note, the two beauty shows I’ve seen so far, I swear I was coerced. The first one was when a certain skinny ass Agbani Darego won Miss World for Nigeria and the second time was back when I was in my final year in school and my ex girlfriend dragged me along.
I can’t remember Miss what it was but it was Miss something. When it got to question time and the contestants were called up one after the other like they do at all these beauty contests, somethin’ interestin’ happened. One of the beauty queens was asked what she understood by the phrase “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” and what? The empty headed queen couldn’t come up wit shit, shawtie jus stood there like one of Madam Tousseau’s statures!
Aki and Paw Paw
These niggas are two of the most well loved African superstars. They get groupie love everywhere; the kids love ‘em, the ladies love ‘em (I don’t know if that love is sexual or not) and the guys envy them. But hol’ up, the kinda envy cats feel for these nigga is definitely not the kinda they would feel toward mutherfuckers like Boris Kodjoe, Trey Songz and ‘em. Why? Cause these two fellas are midgets!
Did I jus say midgets? Yep, I did but I said that wit no bad intentions, I swear. Anyways, they are midget but they are of the rich and famous kind and I wouldn’t mind workin’ for these niggas!
See, when these niggas were startin’ out in the Nigerian movie industry, folks would usually ask, “Who would marry these guys?”
Yesterday
November 28
I was facebook-surfin’ when I came across this, “last weekend seemed to be a weekend of celebration for a number of people particularly for a star actor, Chinedu Ikedieze a.k.a Aki & Nneoma who on Saturday, the 26th had friends and family together for their elaborate traditional wedding”
I did what most of y’all would do, I checked out all the photos.
Am sure you guys already know what I was really checkin’ for, right? You don’t?
Ah ha, liars! I was fuckin’ checkin’ out the wife!
Ok, do you guys know what was goin’ through my mind while I was checkin’ out the wife?
I’ll leave that to your dirty imaginations.
Today
Two things came to my mind as I finished readin’ the story yesterday, the first was that classic The Corr’s song “Somebody for someone” and the second was that phrase that empty headed pussy at the beauty contest couldn’t answer that historic night many moons ago, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”
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