METROSEXUAL

Ain’t it funny how people usually say, ‘’describe me in one word’’ or “if you are to describe me with a word, what word would it be?”

I don’t subscribe to the idea of describin’ a man with one word, nah I don’t. There is no way the whole essence of a man can be captured in a word; it’s jus not fuckin’ possible! But sometimes, a word can give you a window for a look in into the pieces that makes the whole.

And it was yesterday when I came across a word that often reminds me of my homie Chuks (pronounced Chooks, a shortened form of his name he didn’t like it). The moment I saw it on the cover of one of the magazines on the rack at the boutique, I said to myself, that’s my boy right there! That one word kinda partly describes him.

See, Chuks is one of the most intelligent dudes I’ve ever kicked it with. A level-headed nigga, whose business savoir-faire is on a hundred thousand trillion, Lol! Ok, that’s me exaggeratin’ but the on the real, he was good, always puttin’ major money strategies and deals together and in the four years I worked with him, I never saw him get angry or raise his voice at the folks he worked it with; that nigga always got his marbles together! Though, I haven’t seen him in three years, I know he’s still gon be the same old cool dude.

Apart from all those qualities Chuks possessed, there was one that was always a source of amazement to me, nigga was always lookin’ sharp, never a hair out of place! Creep on that nigga at 4am in the mornin’ when his ass was jus wakin up,  and you’d be surprised to see him lookin’ like he jus stepped out of a GQ advertisement by one of those high-street fashion outfits like Gucci or Gianfranco Ferre!

Chuks’s brother, Ugo, was jus the same; skin moisturized, hair shampooed and neatly trimmed, they got the whole works on lockdown. They must have that stuff set in their DNA or something cause no matter how hard I tried, I jus could not pull off that GQ look they effortlessly always got goin’. I guess some of us are not born to be that smooth.

I first came across that word a few years back in one of those mens’ magazines, maybe GQ, Menshealth or somethin’, I can’t remember but it was jus mentioned in passin’ about some rich and famous somebody whom they referred to as metrosexual.

Metrosexual

“A neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual coined in 1994 to describe a man (especially one living in am urban, post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends good time and money on shopping for his appearance.

Dudes rarely go shopping, so consumer culture promoted the idea of a sensitive guy who went to malls, bought magazines and spent freely to improve his personal appearance.”

The self-denying straight male who doesn’t really give a shit about his appearance and whose role up to that time was jus’ to make that moolah for his wife to blow had to be replaced by a new kinda man, one who is much more interested in his image. One who is in touch with his feminine side- he color-coordinates, cares deeply about exfoliation and shit.

A metrosexual man is a walking wet dream for the ladies, right?

Of course, the first time I came across the word back 05, I didn’t really know what it meant, I jus thought, “wow, this shit has got a cool ring to it”. I was so impressed by it i even used it to describe myself in one of my many resumes. It went somethin’ like this

“I am a goal-oriented hard working metrosexual male…blah blah”

Ah ha that shit bring smiles to my face now, usin’ a word that doesn’t really describe me. Lol

Did you jus say, “but, why many resumes?