MEN Vs JOHN HOLMES

John Curtis Holmes is an icon, a legendary figure of a different hue. Didn’t know jack about this dude until 2003 but by that time, the legendary John C. Holmes was already dead and gone for fifteen years. Alotta young folks might not know shit about this 6 ft 2 blond bad ass nigga cause he reigned supreme in the 70s and 80s, but there is every chance that your pops might have heard about him. Go ahead and ask.

I said blond bad ass nigga, did you catch that?

Yea, I know those two (blond and nigga) don’t come naturally unless your hair got a lil help from a hair conditioning relaxer and some hair tint, so I use the word nigga loosely for any male (excludin’ Thomas Beatie type, if you know what I mean) with a hard third extension coolin’ between his legs, for me, the color of the skin’s got none to do with it, ok? The words I want you to focus on here are “a hard third extension’’, get it?

Anyways, back to the late great Bernard Emil Weik II.

Oh, did somebody jus’ say “but Dobs, you were talkin’ about John C. Holmes, why the digression”, huh?

Chill, guys I didn’t forget about Mr. Holmes! Am jus tryna build unto somethin’ here, ok?

Bernard Emil and John Holmes were not particularly handsome, bright or talented (at least, not in the conventional way) but they got talent nonetheless; they got somethin’ so huge, a surprising percentage of all men are willing to part with a handsome sum to acquire some’ like that. And though some have said it doesn’t matter, that we should be contented and go to work with we got, we still want it all the same.

Now, can I leave Bernard Emil Weik the second and John C. Holmes alone for a bit? Thanks!

Am goin to reel out a couple of other names that are as legendary as those two I’ve mentioned. They guys posses the same exceptional stuff as Holmes and weik. The names are John Duval, John Estes, Big John Fallus, Bigg John, John Rey, Johnny Wadd, John sucre, Long john Wadd, Johnny B. Wadd, Johnny the Wadd. *catches breath*

All these guys, includin’ Holmes and Weik share some freaky connections and am not jus talkin’ about the obvious similarity in the name John, am talkin’ some really interestin’ shit like the fact they all died in the same year (1988), at the same age (44) and from the same cause of death. Freaky, huh?

Nah, not so freaky! Why? If you haven’t put your 2 and 2 together to get 4 by now, then you deserve to give yourself a good knock on the head. Lol!

John C. Holmes and all these other guys I’ve mentioned is one and the same person! John was actor who appeared in about 2,500 movies in the 70s and 80s…staggering, huh?

Are the dots connectin’ yet?

John C. Holmes was a porn star who was heavily promoted as being the longest, thickest and hardest dick in the porn industry, although no definitive measurement of Holmes actual penis length exists but back then he was touted to have had a 13 inch penis!

Why all this history bout a dead porn star?

Well, I heard of a convo yesterday where some guy was tellin’ a beautiful lady that penis enlargement procedures and medicines work. Nigga said he tried and it worked! I can’t believe that folks still take that shit seriously because if that shit works, alotta of us will be walkin’ around wit dicks the size of Moses rod in our pants. I know we’ve all seen all those lil ads in the papers boostin’ bout how they can increase dicks to them porn star type of dick and shit, right?

Back in the day, I would sometimes randomly grab a ruler and measure my dick and wishfully day dream about me wit a porn star type of penis, and then I came across that 03 article about John in GQ, I did a lil more wishin’ but hey, I’ve since shaken off the John C. Holmes big-dick-dream off…am stuck wit my dick and there is no increasin’ it! Lol

Messin’ Wit Y’all

I bet some of you cats readin’ this are pro’ly copping your crotch right now, tryna feel how many inches short they are on john’s standard, right? Uh huh, I see some you ladies flashin’ back to them dicks you’ve seen and felt in your pussies!