How about we take this lil production a lil further by readin’ from the beginnin’ of the chapter to the end? Huh, you’re not a Christian? Ok then, I’ma read it to ya, how about that? Good!
Am gon be readin’ from the Dobs Urban Version, by the way.
Chapter three verse one says, “Now the snake was more devious than any beast in the field…and the snake holla at the lady, yo, God told you not to eat from every tree in this garden, didn’t He?
Am I borin’ your asses? Okay, I’ma jus cut to the chase and head on straight to verses eleven (11) and twelve (12) but y’all should try to read the whole chapter sometime, a’ight?
*still readin’ from the Urban Version* chapter eleven, “and God said, who told you that you were butt naked? You’ve taken a bite outta the fruit I ordered you not to, haven’t you?”
Chapter twelve, ah ha *drum rolls* this chapter right here is why I brought y’all into the good book, “and the Adam said, the shawtie you gave me to wife, she gave me the fruit and I ate”
Did you guys get the gist of what went down in that chapter?
Ok, I’ma break it down for you the way I see it from where am standin’. That nigga Adam, after the good Lord caught his ass munchin’ on the forbidden fruit that fine afternoon in the garden of Eden, subtly blamed God for his disobedience!
How, you say? Read the chapter eleven and twelve again and pay close attention to the exchange between God and Adam
When the Lord said, “nigga, you’ve been eaten the fruit I specifically told you not to eat, huh? Don’t even deny it, I caught your ass red handed”
And what was Adam’s reply?
Nigga was like, “OMG, it was the chick you gave me to marry that caused it. Lord, you know your boy well. You know I wouldn’t have disobeyed you if it wasn’t’ for this woman you gave me”
God must have thought to Himself, “what! So, this nigga wanna blame me now for hookin’ his lonely ass up wit a fine ass girl like Eve”
Adam must have been thinkin’ too, “damn, I’ve messed up. I shouldn’t have listened to Eve”
My Theory
From that day onward, the good Lord decided he wasn’t goin’ to hook anybody up again.
And how did I know this?
If you’d walk wit me to the book of Proverbs chapter eighteen (18) Verses twenty two (22) you would find where It says, “Whoever finds a Shawtie to wife finds a good thing and gets support from the Lord”
Ah ha, now you know! I know a lot of folks out there are prayin’ like, “please, God give me a good husby/ wifey “. Guess what? The Lord ain’t gon’ give your ass nada, He’ll jus look at you and say, “Nah, you gotta go search for yourself. When you’ve found yourself a good choice, bring him or her to me and am gon’ bless both your asses, kapisch?”
I know Beyonce is whisperin’ in your ear right now wit all that “if you want it, put a ring on it” routine but before you put a ring on anythin’, open your freakin’ eyes or you might put that precious ring on a bitch and God won’t held responsible for your choice!
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