LADY'S NIGHT

Today

People say things like “men have such dirty minds.”
According to some online reports men think about sex every seven seconds, but honestly I don’t even believe that!!

But let me tell u about WOMEN!

Friday, 25th November

Friday night I had been invited to an Ann Summers party in my friend’s house, let’s just call her the host! I was humming and hawing about whether to go or not, but thankfully in the end I did because it was some experience.

Now I know I have a dirty mind and I like a bit of kinkiness in the bedroom and I’m not ashamed of it, but I know some women don’t like to talk about all that, they prefer to keep it private, but I was soon to learn there was way more like me than I realized.

Women in the company of just women are filthy minded, I had one of the best nights ever, so for ye that don’t know, Ann Summers is a sex shop and they have reps that come out and do parties in your home.

I got there at about 7.50 pm and the girl doing the party Diane (the rep) was just setting up! She came armed with a rail, a very big pink suitcase and a folder, once she set up and we waited for the rest of the girls to arrive and once they did, it began. I was so curious as to the night’s events at this stage.

SEX GAMES

Names Porn Stars Would Envy

First, we were all given catalogues full of all the delightful stuffs u can buy, and given our pseudo names for the night, I was Threesome Teresa, the hostess with the mostess was Bumfluff Brenda, her sister whose birthday it was, was Ivan Ictchycock, Suck and Swallow Sarah and many more I can’t recall. We could only be called by those names and not our real names, if u were caught using real names you got a ditty dot and after three ditty dots you got on the floor on all fours and got your ass whipped.

Sex Bingo

So we got started with a game of Sex Bingo, you pick four numbers between 1 and 20, then for each number match it up with a sound or something u would say during sex, she would then call the numbers and u had to shout out the corresponding noise. Hilarious stuff and guess what guys, I WON, I got a box of condoms for my prize!!!!!!!!

And while all that was going on we had some girls on the floor to be whipped for getting caught using real names(I can tell you something no way was I getting caught for a whopping I was keeping my mouth shut except for partaking in the games of course).

Keeping Scores

Keep in mind now we were all drinking, so it was getting rowdier as the night went on, Next game was scoring your sexual adventures, pen and paper at the ready she would call out things like +50 points if you have ever given a blowjob while your partner was driving, -50 if you haven’t, +20 if u had sex in the bath or shower, +10 points each for each sexual partner u have had etc, etc.

So there I was well chuffed with myself 340 points, girl next to me had 300, I was thinking to myself I could win this fucking thing, next from across the room someone shouts out 1160(fucking tramp lmao)

SEX TOYS

There was another one or two games but I’m gonna jump ahead to the products part of the Evening!

Edible Underwear and ‘Em

We were all given catalogues, order form and pens, so she started off with an array of very saucy outfits and lingerie; an all in one black lace crotch less jumpsuit, candy stripper corset and pink matching tutu lots of very skimpy outfits. Then we moved onto Edible underwear, next and the most interesting was toys.

Clitoris Gel

She was telling us about this Clitoris Stimulation gel, after she talked about the product she asked would anyone like to try some…and do u know what happened next a few girls actually did, off into the bathroom they went to rub a lil gel on their clit, I was shocked I tell u, now I probably would use something like that but I couldn’t believe they did that in front of everyone. I know you all want to know does it work, some said yes and others said it had no effect.

Vibrators

Next a variety of vibrators, the best seller being the Rampant Rabbit, which I have but now days it comes in many different varieties, Aqua Rabbit, Threeway Rabbit, The Big One, The Remote Control One, Banana Split Vibrator, Horn on the Cob Vibrator (yes guys they look just how they sound) and last but by no means least The Thruster

The thruster is the only Vibrator on the market that actually thrusts (there was a few of them sold I kid you not).Bullets, pockets sized vibrators for you on the go!

Cock Rings and ‘Em

What next cock rings, nipple clamps, anal toys (eeewwww, not an ass fan), now most of the ass toys look like a string of beads(visual effect), rock of raspberry ass berry, backwards bum beads, booty beads and so on. Ann Summers also has toys for beginners as well as Advanced and Adventurous users!!!

Role Playing and Get-ups

Feel like dressing up for your man? They got you…the ultimate fantasy, Police woman, French Maid, Sailor, Nurse, School Girl (some women go to a lot of effort I’m telling you guys).

Today

So that was my Ann Summers experience, would I do it again, you can be sure I would, think I might even have one in my house, oh ya and I almost forgot to tell you guys what I bought…Ya fucking right, like I’m gonna tell ye!


Sent in by Aimee