Mr. Thomas Beatie

They say opinion is like asshole; everybody’s got one!

The operating words here are “ass hole” and “opinion” and I swear I didn’t choose that aphorism intentionally, it jus fuckin’ came to mind once I’d decided I was goin’ to write this piece but hey, it fits and y’all will see.

Mr. Thomas Beatie, his wife, Nancy and their three lovely kids (oh, make that four kids because the beaties are expecting an addition) are the fuel for this fire but hold the thought of this regular family while I digress a tiny bit, is that ok? Good!

So, if you ask me what my views are on homosexuality, I’d tell you it’s unnatural. I’ll tell you it’s nurtured and that it’s somethin’ you let your ass fall into. Guess what else am gon say? I’ma say fuck Gaga (as in, the skinny ass singer, Lady Gaga) and her whole born this way rhetoric.

Now that I’ve mentioned homosexual I know you’re thinkin’ Mr. and Mrs. Beatie are homosexuals, right? Sorry to bust your bubbles, the Beaties are not gay!

(Remember, am still talkin’ opinion and asshole, ok?)

Evolutionary biologists would have us believe that we evolved from primates, if it’s true, then why haven’t they or we metamorphosed into somethin else? In all my thirty some years on this earth, why haven’t I come across or heard of homosexual primates (man’s closest relative). Am still yet to see a gay monkey or baboon or gorilla, or have you? Please if you’ve seen one, holla at your boy so you can put my ignorance to rest.

(Are you fuming in the nose yet? Oh, you homosexual? Easy, remember these are jus my opinions, ok? We cool? Cool!)

Am I condemning homosexuals? Big fat N.O! Am not even in a position to judge anybody’s ass, we all sinners anyways, aren’t we?

Call it double standard or what you will but I wouldn’t mind getting in the sheets wit two girls goin’ at it. Yea yeah, I know am a hypocrite but dammit, I’ve never met a man who hasn’t had a lil fantasy bout two pussies getting on wit him thrown in the mix or have you? Now two men boning, that some shit I never ever wanna imagine or see. Am sure the sight of two men smooching will haunt me for the rest of my life if I ever see one.

The thing is, as long as a gay nigga doesn’t come on to me, or sexually molest or rape anybody, am cool, live and let fuckin’ live that’s my motto, where a brotha decides to stick his dick is his own fuckin’ business (pun intended) but I’d be maniacally happy to crudely cut a rapist’s balls off, gay or straight (no discrimination.)

When I came across the story of Thomas Beatie and his wife Nancy, I decided it was time i threw in my two cents on a certain stupidity that is fast gainin’ ground because this couple epitomizes that ridiculosity.

(If you’re gay or gay-loving and you’ve read this piece of shit up to this level, I doff my hat to you. Now, let’s keep goin)

Mr. Thomas Beatie wasn’t always a man; this punk imitation was born as a woman in Hawaii back in 1974. Mr. Beatie was born Tracy Lagondino! When she was in her twenties, she started having testosterone injections to get facial hair, lower her voice and to alter her sexual organs.

In 2002, Tracy had a mastectomy and legally became a man (Thomas) but he chose to keep his vagina, uterus and other sexual organs so the couple could have children, as his wife had had a hysterectomy.

These freaks have three kids already and they are expectin’ the fourth one and who’s carryin’ the pregnancy? Yep, you already guessed it; Mr. Thomas is pregnant for the fourth time!

These two girls frontin’ like man and wife first hit the headline back in 08 when he became the world’s first “pregnant man” with his bearded face and protruding belly. It was the wife breastfed their babies cause the talented Mr. Thomas had had his titties removed…how disgusting is that!

I know I said earlier that I got a “live and let live” attitude toward homosexuality as long as they don’t cross certain lines, well let me be completely upfront now, I got a different attitude when it comes to sex change and homosexuals tryna raise kid! I mean, they made the fuckin’ choice go that same sex route knowing full well what the consequences would be.

Here’s my last shot to homosexuals and sex-change folks tryna raise kids and I’m sayin’ this without apology, shut the fuck up, enjoy your relationship and stop tryna sneak in through the back door to enjoy the happiness and pain of parenthood! What kinda values are the kids goin’ to grow up with? Stop tryna steal the icing on the cake of a heterosexual union