CHUN CHIN PUSE

Angola

What do they speak in Angola again, Spanish or Portuguese? I think it’s Portuguese, yeah it’s gotta be Portuguese if my knowledge of African geopolitics services me right; uh huh, am knowledgeable like that *blowin’ my own fuckin’ horn* Lol!

Without havin’ to suck up to Google or Wikipedia, I know that in Africa, Angola is up there with top dogs like Nigeria and Libya when it comes to the amount of black gold (crude oil) they got lock down in their lands and sea. Though some say crude oil has been nothin’ but a curse to Africa but others, believe otherwise, they say it’s a blessin’, as for me, it’s really a debate for another day cause my ass ain’t feelin’ that scholarly today.

I know that the capital city of Angola is Luanda, am I right? And it’s only logical that with so much oil wealth, there’s gotta be alotta construction works goin’ down, right? And y’all know how oil exploration and construction works attract expatriates like flies to a freshly pooped shit, right?

China

One in every seven person walkin’ the face of this earth is *makes the trademark Bruce Lee growl* a Chinese! No great surprise y’all already know that, right? Everywhere you take your ass too, you’ll find that these nigga are already there getting’ their hustle on, fact! The only other set of hustlers on the same level as the Chinese are the irrepressible Naija people (Nigerians) and the ever singin’ and dancin’ Indians (at least that was what bollywood fed me as a lil boy). Ah ah!

It is often said that anywhere you go and you can’t find any of these three guys, get the fuck out of there as soon as possible cause there’s no loot to be made there! That sayin’ is especially true for the Chinese and the Nigerians, I mean, if you’re ever goin’ to find a black man in Greenland, nine times out of ten, it’d be a Naija man. Same is true for a china man, if you told him that the devil himself has got a construction contract for the renovation of hell, the Chinese won’t hesitate to take the job…now that’s a hustler right there!

Back To Angola

So, it is no surprise at all that alotta expatriates are found in Africa, especially in places rich in natural resources. We need those goons to get the loot out of the ground and even though we know that they’re robbin’ us blind, we can’t really do jack about it cause we got no trust in our own people but then again, our people like to cut corners!

Somehow I know you guys are thinkin’, “is this nigga tryna write a professorial thesis in petroleum economics?”

Nah, not really! What tryna write is economics alright but it’s far from crude oil…it is pussinomics! Ah ha, do I have your attention now?

I was listenin’ to the BBC focus on Africa this mornin’ when an interestin news item popped up and am like wow, this is a new one…it was about Chinese prostitutes in Angola and was I surprised?  Of course, I was!

This is the first time my ass is hearin’ about Chinese prostitutes in Africa! I mean, am used to hearin’ shit  the other way round,  you know, Africa exportin some of its left over pussies to Europe (Italy especially) for some euro- action.

Wow! I thought the Chinese only supply construction workers to Africa, I didn’t know they back that shit up with pay-pussies too. Got me wonderin’ if they took their home grown ho’s everywhere they go like some kinda value added service or is it jus part of their deliberate plan for world domination?

I have never dipped my dick in a pay-pussy before and I don’t have any plans to but this shit has got me curious about a coupla things like;

How would the native Angolan prostitutes cope with the competition from their Chun Chin counterparts? We all know that when the Chinese come through, they run all competitions out of town by floodin’ the market with affordable products.

Would the WTO now recognize prostitution as a world trade?

I won’t be shocked if Angolan prostitutes start hustlin’ their pussies in neigborin’ countries. You all have been warned about the impendin’ invasion!