I saw a scene in the city yesterday that took my mind back a few years... back to when I jus’ got into the university, I met and became friends wit’ a neighbor, some cat named Ade (we weren’t really close like that, jus’ the usual talk-about-chicks-all-the-time kinda friend). This dude was crazy (and pro’ly still is, if he’s not married yet) about king-size or is it, queen-size asses!
This nigga was always ready to throw his cash on a big derriere (firm or wobbly, it doesn’t matter), so whenever me and my lil’ cuz Olumide Jones got broke, all my cousin gotta do was introduce Ade to some big-assed chick and we’re paid... yea yea, I know it’s mini-pimpin’ but who the fuck cared!
For my nigga Ade, the bigger the Badunga the better (for those of y’all who might still be pretendin not to know what the fuck a Badunga is.. c’mon, isn’t it self-explanatory? Jus’ pronounce that word again and tell me wit’ a straight face you got no idea what am talkin’ about. Now, break the word into syllables like this BA-DUN-GA and pronounce slowly. Ah ha, doesn’t it sound like a big juicy ass, huh? I thought so.
Now where am I goin’ with this whole narrative?
Ok, back to yesterday, the 4th of Oct, I saw an overweight lady in a tight ass “mini” skirt (had to put that the word mini in quote, if you know what I mean) and a tight sleeveless plungin’ neckline top in town. She got a lotta heads turnin’ for a second look and I thought about my good ol’ friend from back in the day, am sure he would give an arm for goodies like that.
Am not a fashionista or anythin’ like that but I was a fashion Po-po, I would’ve arrested the lady in question and there will be no singin’ for that fat lady. Why? Cause she had no business wearin’ what she was wearin’, I mean, she got her huge rack spillin’ out the side of her bra (doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that her bra was too fuckin’ small) and jus’ below her “mini” skirt, legs had stretch marks all over the place.
Is any among you thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’? C’mon, cut it out already ‘cause this is not a fat joke, this right here is about knowin’ what to wear and where to wear it to.
If Ade was with me yesterday, am so fuckin’ sure I woulda make acoupla bucks off that nigga, jus’ like old times.
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