Jeans. Strings and CRACKS

I've said it several times before but I’ma say it again, I am not a fashion police but if am certified, alotta folks will be doin’ time in the fashion and style penitentiary for a long long time.

Usually I don’t have problems wit’ what people choose to dress their ass in cause I wear whatever myself but, I’ll be ready to start WW IV (world war four) wit’ your ass if you wear somethin’ that you’d have to keep adjustin’, actin’ all uncomfortable like somebody forced your ass to put the damn thing on. You have been warned! Lol.

I see things and I know y’all see things too, right? Good! Y’all remember the blog I wrote about a certain big lady who got a "mini" skirt and a tight top on? If you haven’t read it then what is your pretty ass waitin’ for, huh? Now take a lil pause and go read THE FAT LADY SINGS NO MORE.

AT THE MOVIES (two night ago)
I was at the movies the day before yesterday wit’ my friends to watch a live stand-up comedy show. Three hot girls came through to bless the seats in the row in front of us with their asses and…

TODAY
I wanna talk about CRACK; yep crack... what do you guys know about crack?

Huh, did your mind jus’ think about crack cocaine? Ah ha ha ha, you crack head! Nah, I ain’t talkin’ bout drug (by the way, don’t do drug, do dobs’ blog), am talkin’ about that partin’ between your ass, that thin line between the two ass-cheeks as they lock in eternal smooch... get it? Am sure everybody’s got one or share one with somebody, as in the case of Siamese twins.

LADIES
Am writin’ this piece because of you... am really pissed at you guys. How you gon’ put on some small body-huggin’ top over a low-rider jeans and expect your crack not to show, huh? I hate how you always try to pull these tiny tops over your cracks when you’re tryna sit in a public place or get on a bus or a bike. I know alotta men would feel my pain, matter of fact, I see alotta men noddin’ their heads in agreement right now. I know I got witness up in this place, right? Right!

But seriously, what is the use of wearin’ a low-waisted pant wit’ them g-strings peakin’ out if you gon’ keep denyin’ folks like me a sneak peek into your ass, huh? Let the men see and allow the breeze to blow into your cracks. The glory of lacin’ your ass in pants like that is in men seein’ a lil piece of what you’re workin’ wit’…not a lot, girl jus’ a lil bit, plus you owe your ass a lil caress from the breeze.
*Playin’ 50 cent jus’ a lil’ bit in my head*.

Here’s a lil open secret for you ladies, men don’t wanna see you nude in the street, it’s a turn-off, all we wanna see is a lil bit of skin…jus a lil bit. Lettin’ men see a lil’ bit of your crack never hurt nobody unless your crack is an eyesore!

BACK TO LAST NIGHT
...like I was sayin’, one of the girls had low-rider jeans on (though, I didn’t notice at first…am lying. Lol) how could I not notice when a booty like that was jus down there under my beautiful African nose…jus before sittin’, she had her left hand (wit’ a blackberry in it) pullin’ on her shirt tryna cover that crack and for the briefest of moments, the reflection from the BB lighted up the whole shebang properly and then she sat…I screamed at her, "what the fuck are you doin…c’mon, you’re not suppose to sit yet. Am still tryna get an eyeful of your crack! Isn’t dat why you put those jeans, huh?" The whole hall went quiet...

Of course, I didn’t scream, am too much of a gentleman to put my saintly reputation into disrepute... gentlemen check things like that they’re not really lookin’ and dat was I did but next time I see a girl pullin’ her short shirt tryna dat crack, I won’t hold my peace.