NOBODY

Tuesday

6^th November

A Baby-Makin’ Hit from The 90

I wanna tease you, I wanna please you

I wanna show you baby that I need you

I want your body til the very last drop

I want you to holla when you want me to stop

*I know what some of you guys are thinkin’ right now; I can read your fuckin’ minds! Ah ha, am good like that. Here it is, you are thinkin’, ‘’Dobs’ got nada to write about today, so he’s tryna post up lyrics from some song to fill up the space’’ am I right? No! Oh ok, so I can continue?*

And who can love you like me (nobody)

And who can sex you like me (nobody)

And can treat you like me (nobody)

Nobody baby

*if you don’t know this jam, then I suggest you YouTube dat shit. The 90s pro’ly had more classic songs than any decade in human history, am sure Nielsen Soundscan and the Billboard gon’ agree wit me (don’t go quotin’ me on that now, am jus sayin. Lol)*

And who can do you like me (nobody)

Who can give you what you need (nobody)

Who can do you all night long? (Nobody)

Nobody baby

Ok, that’s enough for now but y’all know am goin’ somewhere wit’ this, right?

Keith Sweat

For those of you who were born in the 90s, you were definitely too young to know this joint when it dropped back in 95, I can bet my bottom dollar that you were pro’ly somewhere hangin’ on your mama’s boobs, feenin’ like a glutton for some of that mama’s milk. Lmao!

That jam right there, was a monster tune and if you think Dobs is liar, ask your brothers or your sisters or your uncles, yeah, go ahead and ask somebody. This song was pro’ly responsible for more than 50% of the kids that were born in ’96. Beds and bedrooms around the world can testify to that fact (am sure R. Kelly would have some’ to say about that).

Keith Sweat and his froggy ass voice was on top of the musical food chain wit that killer joint, it was taken from his self-titled 1996 album (the “Nobody” single dropped a year earlier). The year before, Keith had everybody around the planet ‘Twisted’! Only God knows how many asses ‘Twisted” to that shit, that nigga Keith was on a mutherfuckin’ roll!

Memories and Songs

Isn’t it amazin’ how we hear a certain song and it jus transports us back to some moment in time in the past. Sometimes when a particular record comes on, you remember a certain someone, someplace or an event. Consciously or unconsciously, human beings tend to tie songs to memories.

Amazingly for me, Keith’s Nobody had no vivid memory tied to it, at least not until about two weeks ago.

If the punk ass folks at Nielsen SoundScan and their british counterpart at Rotation Media ever took Africa into consideration when compilin’ their various charts (Billboard chart and Top of the Pops), then Keith Sweat’s “Nobody” shoulda pro’ly made a resurgence somewhere on one of those charts two weeks ago.

Why, you asked?

The Sex Tape

The unsuspectin’ good folks of the southern Africa republic of Zambia woke up to a certain sex tape made by two of their own, two college kids had become overnight celebrity, infamously or famously, dependin’ on where you stand on the issue.

Within minutes of the leakage video, that shit went viral on the internet, and guess what the sound track to the tape was? Yeah, you already know; Keith Sweat’s Nobody!

Did I see it?

Gawd, no! Am a decent mutherfucker, am too freakin’ saintly to be watchin’ dirty stuffs like that!

What did you say? How did I know they used “Nobody” as the sound track?

Ok, ok so I saw it but I saw it was against my wish. The devil deceived me jus like he did Eve in the garden. Nah, am jus playin’, I take full responsibility.

New Memory

There’s somethin’ very magnetic about sex tapes, somethin’ about them is more appealin’ to people than the traditional porn. Correct me if am wrong but I feel that appeal is due to the fact that people feel they can identify wit the folks in ‘em, they feel the guys in a homemade porn are regular folks like them, not some production Hollywood put together.

Anyways, about five days into the saga, somebody finally hooked me up wit the doggone tape. And nope, am not goin’ to give you a blow-by-blow account of what those kids got down to, did I say blow job? Oops, I guess I gave some of it away already! Lol

At the end of the tape, one thing was clear to me; those kids made the tape half hoping people would get to see it.

Why’d I say that?

Why anybody who’s not a pro porn actor or producer go through the rigor of openin’ a sextape with a title and an accompanying sound track? And when they got done, there was a closin’ credit. Who does that? Even Ray J and Kim Kardashian didn’t pull a stunt like that!

If given the chance, the right person and atmosphere, you’d be shocked at the number of people who’d be willin to get their asses taped on laptops or camera phones while they get their sex on. I know some of y’all somewhere inside you are wishin’ people could see how good your ass at fuck O’clock.

Meanwhile for me, there’s no way I can listen to that song again without havin’ flash backs to that sex tape, no way!

I heard the song this mornin’ on the radio, by the way!