BANANA LOVE

11 December 2011

Sunday

What I Had For Breakfast

I had BB for breakfast in mornin’ yesterday and nah, BB doesn’t always have to stand for BlackBerry or Bubbly Boobs or Bootylicious Broad, huh uh, this one stands for bread and butter, ah ha! And I shouldn’t forget to mention that I chased the meal off wit a big fat banana, yeah!

See, am a fan of the bananas, especially plantain! I love me some of that good ol’ plantain, I love it when you slice ‘em up and let them fry nicely. I love it even more when I toss those on a huge plate of rice, cappin’ all that up wit a juicy drumstick and stew, yum yum!

I can almost see some of y’all lickin’ your lips and shit…wake up! On the real, havin’ a banana yesterday mornin’ brought to mind somethin’ I read on Friday.

Monday

12 December

01:35

In Search Of an Islamic Cleric

After spendin’ more than thirty minutes searchin’ the internet for a certain Islamic mullah, I gave up. I had wanted to get in touch with the preacher for a lil chit chat, you know, a lil one on one with this very religious man of God to straighten some things out but that wasn’t happenin’ cause I didn’t get any contact address or email.

What did you say? Am I tryna convert to Islam? Well, you never know but then again, that’s not what this is all about.

“Then, what’s this all about?” you ask. Hmm, y’all hold on and I’ll break it all down for y’all in a bit, ok?

So, like I was sayin, I had nuthin’ to go on on this Islamic cleric, I had no name or photo, all I had was his diktat (a command, a decree, an order, can I go on with the synonyms? Lol) which was featured in an article on el-senousa, a religious publication and another write up by Bikya Masr (an Egyptian news website), the Times of India and a few other websites.

The pronouncements in question were issued some days ago from an unknown location somewhere in Europe. I wanted so much to dig into the background of this bearded nigga, then have a spiritually stimulatin’ chat wit his ass before makin’ a decision on the direction to go wit this piece.

What! How did I know he was rockin’ a bushy beard if I’ve never seen his photo before? Please, isn’t wearin’ a Taliban-like beard a necessary part of being a mullah, huh?

Anyways, my search for this cat was in vain so I decided to pull out my verbal whip and go whoop whoop on that turbaned ass.

Did somebody jus say, “Dobs, be careful what you say bout these niggas” huh?

Nah, I got this. I know these punks don’t play. Yep, I know they won’t hesitate to pull a nine-eleven on anybody”

Friday

9^th December

18:48

I nearly cracked a rib when I came across a link a friend put up on her facebook page on Friday. It read “Islamists ban women from touching banana to avoid sex thought”. The Times of India puts it this way “Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas”

Am I kiddin’?

Hell no!  When I saw it, I was like what the fuck, is this clown serious!

I mean, I didn’t know Islamic clerics got jokes too and here I was thinkin’ only these get-rich-quick fake ass pastors tell jokes.

Quotin’ Bikya Masr 

Islamists ban women from touching bananas to avoid sex thoughts. An unnamed Islamic cleric based in Europe has issued a ban on women touching fruits and vegetables resembling the male sexual organ to avoid “sexual thoughts”

 “If women wish to eat these food items (bananas and cucumbers), a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their husband, should cut the item into small pieces and serve” the cleric dictated

According to the cleric, bananas and cucumber “resembles the male penis” and therefore could arouse women or “make them think sex.” The cleric also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden food for women.

The news about this latest diktat against women went viral on the web with liberal Muslims enraged and embarrassed. Repression of women in ultra-conservative Islamic societies has an intense subject of debate throughout the world

Monday

12 December

My thoughts

This punk ass is definitely sufferin’ god complex. It is selfish infidels (yep, infidels and I don’t need to be a Muslim to recognize one) like this fool that go around in their starched-out turbans, soiling Islam and messin’ wit peoples’ lives by layin’ down arbitrary laws.

This fraud has pro’ly been searchin’ for relevance all his fraudulent life and he pro’ly saw this as his best chance of gettin’ a look in. I hope more real Moslems take this empty barrel for what he really is…a clown!

And oh, can somebody please tell this fool that apart from Banana, plantain, cucumber and carrot, there is Ice cream cone, candle and so many other items reminiscent of a mutherfuckin’ penis!