Saturday, the 24th of September, round 01:30 in the AM
The entire metro of Lusaka was celebratin’; they were partyin’ like its 2099! It was a party they knew was comin’ but they had to put a “hold on” sign on it jus’ to be certain and sure enough, they got their confirmation in the wee hours.
From the moment the final results of the Presidential Election were announced and the underdog came out tops like most folks anticipated, the whole country (well, maybe not the whole but more than half of the population) crank their celebration meter a million notches up and poured out into the streets even at the time of the night. The highways were flooded with cars blarin’ their horns and shit, and of course, bottles were poppin ’non-stop... now, bottle poppin’ is an everyday thing for folks round here, I mean, on any given day, these guys drink like its goin’ outta style... if boozin’ was a sport, they’ll be competin’ for gold! So y’all can imagine what the situation was like when these guys actually got an occasion as big as this to celebrate, they freakin’ got the bar men pullin’ an all nighter!
When daylight came, I told myself to get my ass out there to check out how crazy the city had got and most definitely, drop in on the Swearing-in Ceremony at the Federal High Court. Now, you’re probably wonderin’ why the hell am gon’ put my ass through the unnecessary hassles of standin’ in the swelterin’ saharan sun wit’ a million others, ass-bumpin’ each other jus’ to witness the swearing in of a President that isn’t mine? Well, am doin’ it ‘cause I sensed history was bout to be made. I told myself shit like this don’t always happen out here in Africa. Our punk ass leaders always try every trick in the dictators’ book of how to die in power to hang on to that shit.
12:00
With the sun blazin’ high up in the sky, I made my way ‘round one of the best neighborhoods in town. Two streets from the crib, I ran into a pleasant surprise, people were goin’ buckwild, singin’ and getting’ their ridiculousity on on the street. I asked some chick what was goin’ down and she told me the president (as in, the newly crowned) lives there! I thought to myself, oh I didn’t know that and I walk by this street almost every day... and would you believe if I told y’all Ho’s sell pussy on that street every blessed night?
As I got close to the venue of the inauguration, all cars and I mean all cars, had jus’ one song seepin’ out their speakers... Dandy Krazy’s Donchi Kubeba! That joint had everybody goin’ shhhh with their index fingers across their lips! That right there was the unofficial soundtrack for the opposition’s (now, the rulin’ party) march to victory... it was and still is an anthem.
I moved through the throng of people, some touts dancin’ half naked all sweaty and shit (I got my cameral ready, half-hopin’ I’d run into chicks dancin’ naked…alas, no such luck), others were hangin’ on trees tryna that hard-to-come-by good view of the swearing-in box. And me? I wasn’t interested in the whole ceremony thing; I was there to watch the people watchin’ the ceremony and all the goings on in the background.
13:30
30 minutes into my side-show watchin’ and photo-takin’, I made my way to the posh Intercontinental Hotel, and what was I doin’ there? I had absolutely no idea... funny, huh? Anyways, there I was front’n like I was there to meet somebody and who did I run into... the incredible Mr. Guy Scott! The moment I saw him, I only had one thing in mind; take a freakin’ picture with him... As he moved out the lounge with his fam and security details, I stepped up and asked him for a picture and to my surprise, he said yeah! While I was tryna get a good shot as we moved, other folks were tryna squeeze their bitch asses into my photo…snap snap snap squeezin’ out as many shots as possible. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to get a shot where I’d at least look as good my nigga Guy.
I went back to the hotel lounge to check the pictures out and yeah, I got acoupla ok shots alright but I look like shit compared to that smooth nigga Guy Scott! After goin’ through the ten shots I took, I could only find one picture where I looked presentable... can you imagine that!
28th September
As I write this, I’ve checked out the one good picture of me and Mr. Scott more than ten times. I am tempted to post this lil’ adventure of my today but I told myself to sit on it for another day. I heard the new Prez gon’ make a major announcement tomor’. Now, what would effect would the President’s announcement have on me? Pro’ly nada but am determined not to post this shit today.
Today, the 29th of September
Guy Scott was named the new Vice President of the Federal Republic of Zambia…and oh, Guy Scott is white!
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