BUSCAPADE

I like public bus rides despite the fact that I got my own whip, a 2010 Range Rover parked somewhere at a secret location. See, am a rich ass dude but I don’t fit the mode of those stuck-up rich cats who wring their noses at the average Joes who take public transport to work or wherever it is that they go. I like meetin’ different characters, I like the drama they bring and you’d be amazed at the strange things you can see and learn from jus’ talkin’, observin’ or listenin’ in on the conversations on a public bus.

Can I make a confession? Ummm, the Range I mentioned earlier is still at the dealership, waitin’ for a buyer and that buyer is not me, at least, not for now! Fact is, I don’t own a car... I don’t even own a bicycle dammit Lol! Had to quickly throw the I-don’t-own-a-car part in there before those who know me well catch me in a web lies but I got plans to go scoop that Range up as soon as I hit pay dirt. I promise!

If you’ve never taken a ride on a city bus before, you’re missin’ a whole damn lot, can I get a witness? And yep, my lil’ romance wit’ public buses have got nada to do wit the fact that I don’t have a car... so, please, kill that thought about Dobs jus’ tryna hide behind the fact that he doesn’t own a car to justify his bus-ridin’ ass. Lmao! Truth is, if you can look past some of the discomforts, public bus rides can be fun.

*Clears throat* I know some of y’all might have a thing or two to say about what am gon’ say next but hey, I rep my city... so, as far as am concerned, only one city in the whole wide world offers the most interestin ’public bus ride experience…the soap-opera out there on a public bus in the city of Lagos is unparallel!

Lagos is the only city I know wit’ its own specially shaped bus. I know some of y’all (who aren’t Nigerians) might have seen one of those yellow beast wit two stripes in one or two Nollywood home videos... am talkin’ bout the infamous MOLUE! I swear a whole town can fit in one of those. Lagosians who’ve got no car (and that’s a lot of ‘em) are often “sardine’d” on that lovely beast. Jus’ like the late great afro Beat Legend Fela sang in one of his hit records, “21 sittin’ 99 standin”, no space is wasted. You’ll see folks “lapping” (sittin’ wit another person sittin’ on your laps) each other, some standin’ ass to crotch on the aisle and some hangin’ precariously by the door!

Are you wonderin’ why I took y’all through all this chest-beatin’ and praise-singin’ bout my city and its infamous Molue buses? Of course, you are!

Well, somethin’ happened to my friend in Lagos yesterday (21 Sept.,) while she was on her way home. She got on a small (a Danfo) and sat in front wit’ the driver. Did I mention that my friend is a fine piece of work? Well, she is…anyways; she hadn’t even settled her pretty ass on the bus properly, than the driver started leanin’ into her and shit. The lil’ lean-move away-lean game continued for a bit but then the incubus in the driver’s head took complete control of him and somethin’ weird happened... the mutherfucker started rubbin’ on his dick wit’ his free hand. When shawty noticed what was goin’ on under her nose, she was stunned! When she found her voice, she told the pervert to pull to the shoulder and promptly jumped off like the damn bus was on fire!

I’ve heard so many “Buscapades” but that right there, is up there wit’ the strangest of ‘em! I got my lil’ buscapades too by the way but I ain’t tellin’... *sticks tongue out*.