Wednesday
07:48
Uncle!
‘Thando, my lil’ two year old friend (the landlady’s daughter) excitedly called out to me as she ran out of their kitchen toward my opened door. I’d left the door to the crib open so that the cool morning breeze could come in and air out the joint. It is the healthy thing to do especially if you were up all night contaminating the air inside with dirty thoughts and stuff. Huh, stuff? Umm, it is exactly what your un-churchly minds are thinkin’, you dirty people!
Uncle, moon!
‘thando stood at the door, pointin’ her lil’ fore-finger to the sky. Reluctantly, I clicked save on the proposal I was typin’, put the laptop to the side and scooped the lil’ girl up and out we went to check the “moon” out.
The night before, after she’d danced (she dances even without music) and jumped several times as high as she could (she’s pro’ly the only person in the world who could jump without her feet leavin’ the ground) I carried her in my arm and showed her the beautiful full moon beamin’ down from the night sky. I taught her to say the word moon by chantin’ it and in no time, we were both pointin’ at the magnificent fluorescent orb and sayin’ moon, moon, moon as if we were possessed by some stuttering god.
07:51
“Uncle, moon!”
I smiled and told her nah, that’s not the moon. It’s the sunnnn! The lil’ girl wouldn’t hear none of it. She kept pointin’ at the sun and sayin’ moon.
08:02
Somewhere durin’ our sun and moon back and forth, she picked a tiny paper from the ground and mimicked writin’ with her tiny fingers, an indication that she wanted a pen and jus’ like that, attention/obsession with the moon shifted!
I went inside, grabbed one of my dead pens and handed it to her but my surprise, she handed the pen back wit the piece of paper. I looked at the paper and it turned out to be somethin’ I’d gotten from the pub a week earlier!
Sunday
January 20
13:25
It was super Sunday and I ain’t never met any football lovin’ fan who would miss it for anythin’, well maybe not anythin’ but there’s very little that would stand in the way of folks like me from watchin’ that shit.
What? I ain’t talkin’ no American football, am talkin’ the real deal, the one where you actually kick a mean game with your legs. I’m talkin’ Chelsea vs. Arsenal and Tottenham vs. Man Utd…now that’s football and it doesn’t get realer than that!
The first game on the bill was Chelsea vs. Arsenal and no sooner I’d jus stepped in pub, one of the chefs (am kinda chummy-chummy wit most of the workers there) came up to me to askin’ for a lil’ change to add to what he had, said there was somethin’ he really needed to get. I broke him a lil somethin’. He thanked me, went about his business while a grabbed a seat and got settled for the game.
14:20
Durin’ the interval, I saw my chef “friend” showin’ off somethin’ he had hidden in his red chef apron to two 18 year old-ish girls, I said 18-ish but the truth is, those girls looked 28 in dick-years (am sure y’all know that dick years are different from calendar years). I took a closer look at their object of fascination and would you believe what it was?
Hold on, guys…
15:10
Jus’ before the end of the game, I noticed that the Chef’s was slumped over the buffet table. I saw a customer tried in vain to wake him up. Nigga was too far gone; he jus’ wouldn’t wake up! My biggest fear was about to come to life, my thought was that the Chef was dead!
Yeah, I know that was an alarmist thought but what kinda chef slumps like that at the buffet table?
Outro
The paper lil’ ‘Thando gave me to write on was a label I’d torn off a 200ml Mark Royal Whisky bottle from Super Sunday about a week and half ago. It was the cause of Mr. Chef’s death-like sleep at work. Nigga was drunk and I had inadvertently contributed to his drunkenness!
How?
It was the lil’ change I’d given him earlier that completed his booze money!
And yeah, I’d torn off that whisky label ‘cause I was goin’ to blog about it but somehow, I misplaced it and I’d even forgotten ‘bout the whole incident ‘til this mornin’ when Nthando handed me the gem.
Enjoy your Wednesday and take care of each other. Be safe out there y’all!
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