Tuesday
10:00
Happenstance
Am sure a lot of you have heard the word before or at least, read it somewhere in some books but for those who haven’t, allow me to take your truant asses to the classroom for a minute.lol
Accident, coincidence, chance, fluke, twist of fate…all these words are synonyms for happenstance. Oh, you didn’t know? Well, now you know and it’s all thanks to that world renowned professor of English himself.
Who? You ask
Me, of course and you better act like you know!
Y’all should be thankin’ me, I jus saved your ass a coupla bucks and time by improvin’ your vocabulary.
Nah am jus’ playin’ wit’ y’all, I know you guys are intelligent folks like that *strokin’ your egos*
09 January
Monday
12:57
La da da da
Hey hey goodbye
Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen
No ID on the track, let the story begin
This is anti auto-tune, death of ringtones
This isn’t for the iTunes, this ain’t for sing-along
This is Sinatra at the opera, bring a blonde
Preferably wit’ a fat ass who can sing along…
That was the song that started playin’ in my brain as soon as the three chicks stood beside the chair I was coolin’ in. it was as if an invisible DJ had been waitin’ all his life for that moment to happen jus for him to slide that record on and guess what? The song wouldn’t play beyond the part where Jay Z said, “…bring a blonde
Preferably wit’ a fat ass who can sing along” the song kept repeatin’ that same phrase over and over again like a broken record.
One of them chicks was a petit mulatto who wouldn’t stop talkin’, PYT (a pretty young thang) though. The other two were half past chubby. Truth is, one of the chubbies, was borderin’ on the plus-size but being a gentleman (though not always politically correct), I didn’t wanna call her fat…well she was fat (you guys forced my hand).
Is somebody askin’ bout the third chick and why Jay Z was stuck on” bring a blonde preferably wit’ a fat ass who can sing along”?
Well, I’m gon’ put the blame squarely on the ass of the third chick, Jay musta seen what me and many men saw. Shawtie had every eyes (with every eyes, I meant all the men, old and young) at the bus station glued to what her mama gave her. The chick couldn’t have been more than twenty and she had what I’d safely say is the fattest ass I’d ever seen in a red knee length skirt on someone so young! Two grown ass men could sit comfortably on that ass; she had all these uncouth men forgettin’ to pick their jaws from the freakin’ floor!
Monday
09 January
13:48
As soon as the sun shade seller noticed I’d given his wares more than a brief look, he walked up to me with a cigarette smile on his weathered face, makin’ that psst psst sound they all make to attract attention to their goods, nigga musta smelled a sale. I quickly looked back to my laptop and feigned concentration, I made pretend like some serious writer who was tryna finish an important sentence in an epic novel that would soon find its way to the top of the New York Bestsellers’ list.
Without raisin’ my head from the opened computer opened computer, I stole a look to see if the nigga bought my lil pretense and left me alone but no way, his half past dead Nike shoes were starin’ at my eyes like, “yeah, we here and we ain’t leavin’ till you buy som’ from our master”
Since the guy wasn’t budgin’, I thought I might as well check out what the nigga got. As soon as I raised my head to look at the array of shades he got on display, Death of Auto-tune (the same song that was playin’ in my earlier) started playin’ again but this time, it wasn’t jus’ the audio, I could see the video!
Happenstance? Why was Jay’s Music playin’ in my head…again? Are the Illuminatis tryna tell me somethin’? Lmao!
Y’all hold it right there, I know what y’all thinkin’ right now, yep I do. You’re pro’ly thinkin’, “Dobs is finally goin’ off his rockers. Nigga is losin’ his marbles”
Nah, am not losin’ my mind, I got my shit together. I got a good reason for hearin’ and seein’ Jay Z’s DOA in my head.
What’s my reason?
Nah, my reason’s got none to do Blue Ivy Carter.
The reason is found in this two words: Ray Ban!
If y’all remember the video well, Jay Z had a lil fro goin’ (before it was shaved off in the same video) and he was rockin’ a dark Ray Ban, right? I’ve always thought the look was a good one and I could pull it off, especially now that am rockin’ a medium sized fro’.
So, starrin’ at what the shade peddler got, I saw the same kinda shade and I was like well well well, am gon get me one of these babies. And yeah, I knew they were replicas (pro’ly made somewhere in rural China) but who the hell gives a fuck as long as it looks good on a brotha. Besides, y’all wouldn’t know the difference cause a lot of you will only see me rockin’ it in pictures.
“So, did I get my hands on one of those Ray Bans?”
Nope, I changed my mind after I discovered somethin’ on the shades.
The shades weren’t Ray Bans at all, they were Ray Dons!
I told the nigga, “nah, some other time cause I didn’t plan on gettin’ a shade today“
It’s one thing to buy a replica article; it’s another to buy a replica wit some stupid name on it! No way am goin’ to be caught dead in a Ray Don.
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