STRONG MEN

Monday

05 November

*singing*

L’ojo Monday Eko Oni Gba Gba Ku’gba

Umm, have I talked about this song before in one of my posts? I’m sure I have but hey, I had to bring it back ‘cause I got another curious yarn to spin about the most hated day of the week. And nope, I can’t promise the song won’t pop up again somewhere down my future posts. There’s no way I’m gon’ talk about Monday without bringin’ this classic by the late afro beat legend Fela Anikulapo Kuti into the convo. Can I say somethin’ profound real quick? Fela never sung a bad song. No lie!

What!

You don’t know who Fela is/was? Get on Google or Wikipedia and educate your ass… do it quick! That nigga is in the same class as the jazz greats: Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong, Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, John Coltrane and the others. Please don’t turn up your snotty nose and say, “why is this nigga blaspheming?” Oh, you said that in your head already! Ok. Lol!

L’ojo Monday Eko Oni Gba Gba Ku’gba (On Monday morning, Lagos (Nigeria) takes no shit from nobody)

That right there was the mentality I grew up with and I can confidently say the same for all the people on my block. On Monday mornings, we don’t play. We don’t want nobody “monkeying” around and put the hex on the rest of the week for us. We believe the way you start the week is likely how you gon’ end it. I know some folks might say it’s superstitious but fuck it, it is what it is.

09:25

Don’t you jus’ hate when a street hustler steps up to you (unsolicited) and try to sweet talk you or even sometime try somethin’ close to manhandlin’ you into makin’ a buy of whatever it is he or she (usually he) is sellin’? don’t you jus’ hate!

Monday morning, my spirit was sky high, no Monday blues like most folks. I had black pants on my ass and a sky blue long-sleeved shirt on my back. My afro was oiled and combed, and my craggy beard was, well, still a little bit craggy. I walked down the central business district swingin’ (if you got Papa Roach’s ”Still Swinging” playin’ in my head you’d be swingin’ too). In that moment, I was oblivious to the pain in the world, I was happy as a dick gettin’ waxed by Megan Good’s lips but all that was brought to an untimely end when some guy stepped alongside me wit’ a package of bottles in his hand, I took one look and I knew exactly what they were…

Between 09:50 and 10:38

Yeah, you’re pro’ly sayin’ there is really nothin’ strange about the incident I jus’ recounted, well I thought the same thing, matter of fact, I chucked it down to a random act by the universe but wait a second cause things weirder and weirder. And what would you know, the same shit happened again and again… two other hustlers tried to sell me the same damn stuffs the first hustler tried to sell me, all within the space of one hour!

I kept thinkin’ to myself, don’t these niggas know it’s too damn early in the day to be tryin’ to sell a nigga these stuff, I mean, I smell good for God’s sakes. The more I tried to get away from these guys by gettin’ my Johnny Walker on the more they kept comin’ at me proclaimin’ how long lasting their goods were.

Strong Men, 7 Hours, Big Boy & Other Packaged Stuffs

Nope! Strong Men, 7 Hours, Big Boy and others aren’t the names of exotic perfumes; they are all herbal equivalent of Viagra! What coulda given me away? Was it my walk or my craggy beard? May be I had a sign on my forehead sayin’ “here goes an aspirin’ porn star who couldn’t get it up or something?”

 

Outro

Tuesday

06 November

11:22

Up until the moment am penning down this entry, there’s been nothin’ to suggest that Monday would repeat itself on a Tuesday but then again, it’s still too early in the day or week to say, right?