SKINNY JEANS

So, I saw a grown ass dude today, able bodied and shit but this cat was takin' the stairs like he got a spaldin (name of a ball for basketball) between his freakin' legs. Dude couldn't walk properly because of the pant he got his skinny ass into. A skinny jeans hangin' so tight and so low on his ass he could barely move. I swear, a year old child woulda out run this punk ass!

That appallin' sight kinda take my recollection back to a classic line ''I don't wear skinny jeans 'cos my nuts don't fit, yeaaaah", ain't that what the newly revealed soon to be Dad said in one of his hot joint? Am talkin bout Jay, as in Jay Z, the I got 99 pro'lem and a bitch ain't one rapper. Jus like Jay, I don't wear skinny jeans, but unlike Jay, I got a totally different reason why I would never be caught dead in one of those... and nah, it's not because my balls dont fit (unlike Hova). I had a traumatic experience with a skinny jean from way back when.

If this was on a talk show, this is the part where Oprah would lower her voice to a loverly tone, nudgin' me gently, tellin' me to let it all out. Dr Phil woulda put his hand on my shoulder, tellin' me everythin's goin' to be ok.

Anyways, ways before I was Badly Drawn, I think was about 7 or 8 years old, I had this lovely jean my Pops got me from one of his world tours... gettin in the jean was no problem at all. I'd feel like a freakin' rock star in 'em. Go to church with my Granny, showin' off and shit. The problem with this pant was, GETTIN' IT OF... I would spend close to an hour sweatin' and sheddin' tears of frustration, pullin' and wrigglin' with it... it'd take almost half the household to free me from that damn contraption. I had that same truamatic experience one more time before I said hasta la vista to it. I abandoned the pant still smellin' fresh like the day it came out the factory. Ever since those years, I've never dressed my ass with a skinny pant.