Friday, February 3, 2012

HALF A MILLION DOLLAR PUNCH

3 February
Friday
11:03

What Would You Do For Half A Million Dollar

As any of you read the Sorrows of Satan by Marie Corelli? If you haven’t, I suggest you look for it and trust me; it’d be one of the best novels you’ll ever read. Major league shout out to my boy Scooby Steve for hookin’ my ass up with that gem back in ’02 (I almost didn’t read it cause the damn thing was all dog-eared and shit).

One of the characters in there (can’t remember if it was Prince Lucio or somebody) said some’ about not trustin’ anybody until you’ve tried and failed to purchase their integrity with money. That’s some profound stuff, huh?

Draw a line under money cause that’s the bottomline.

Now my question is, what would you or wouldn’t you do for $500,000?

Now, hold that thought while I tell you about donkeys.

Donkey

Lately, I’ve been thinkin’ a lot about Donkeys. And nah,I haven’t seen Shrek and his loquacious sidekick lately.

By the way, what’s another name for donkey?

*thinks hard* ok, I give up the act, of course I know what that other name is. It is ass or arse and if you know your bible well enough, you’ll know that Jesus triumphantly rode into town in one of those. That was the equivalent of Lamborghini in those times. Lol! 

 Umm, did y’all know that a female donkey is called a Jenny! Uh huh, I wonder what Jenny (we all know a Jennifer, don’t we?) would think about sharin’ a pet name with a donkey.



Sometimes Ago

Asses’ Milk

Before May last year, I didn’t think donkey was good for anythin’ other than workin’ the field and for ridin’. I was surprised to read that the milk from this animal can serve as alternative for them kids who are allergic to cow and goat milk. Italian farmers who were into the production of that shit made a killin’ supplyin’ pediatric unit.

Did y’all know that Cleopatra (as in Queen Cleopatra of ancient Egypt) kept her flawless complexion goin’ usin’ milk from donkey. What! Am I serious? Yep, I am. A range of high quality skin care products are made from donkey’s milk these days.

Some experts even claimed that that shit can help your ass lose weight. Now y’all can go ahead and thank me by hookin’ me up with a supply of donkey’s milk for givin’ your asses a new way to shed that weight.

28 January
Saturday
08:13

Drink Up

Saturday mornin’, I was layin’ up in bed and fiddlin’ wit my phone as usual, scrollin’ through my newsfeed I came across a story via a link a friend of mine posted up…I swallowed hard after I readin’ it.

Why?

Apparently, the folks at Fear Factor had shot an episode of the show last summer where they had contestants drink down a big ass glass of Donkey cum for them to move to the next round! As if that wasn’t enough, they threw in a glass of urine for them contestants to wash the cum down. Yum yum!
30 January
Monday
16:12

The notorious episode was supposed air on Monday night (30th Jan) and I was feenin’ to see how the whole thing panned out. I jumped on the net, typed in the keyword and bam! I saw this

“NBC Chooses To Pull Fear Factor Episode Where Contestants Drink Donkey Semen”
I mean why did the execs at NBC green-light that episode in the first place?
3 February
Friday
13:15

And yes, accordin’ to what I read, some contestants actually tossed that shit down their throats. Damn, I got goose pimples on my skin right now *shivers*
So now that the episode’s not showin’, am left wit a coupla questions for the producers…
How did they collect cum?
The guys who drank the funky stuff, did they drink it in vain?
One thing is for sure though, if I was one of them contestants, I will make sure NBC catches a case; I will sue their ass for a huge sum.
So, back to the question I asked earlier, what would you or wouldn’t you do for a crack a half a million big ones? Would you swig on donkey’s semen?
What? Me? Would I? umm, all am goin’ to say is, half a mill in greenbacks is no chicken change.



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