WHOEVER SAYS QUITTERS NEVER WIN HAS NEVER HAD AN ADDICTION PROBLEM

WHOEVER SAYS QUITTERS NEVER WIN HAS NEVER HAD AN ADDICTION PROBLEM

I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK

A While Back

A few moons back there was this Jada Pinkett-sized girl I was in school wit’, her name was Funmi. She was the kind of girl who was hard to forget and that un-forgetabilty has got nothin’ to do wit’ beauty. Shawtie was cute, smart as a whip (well, that was what it looked like from my few interactions with her) and my God, she could talk nineteen to the dozen!

And nah, I didn’t break out one of my special smooth operator’s moves on that ass?

Well, not really! Why not really?

See, by the time I got through knockin’ down some of her walls and we started bein’ cool with each other, there was already some other girl hangin’ on my freakin’ arm! This other chick got in the frame and hung there like a freakin’ spider. Did I say frame and spider? Nah, clip that, this chick was not jus’ in the frame, she was the whole picture, she fuckin’ caused the eclipse of them other chicks! Lol. There was no room left for kickin’ games on the side. Yeah, am faithful like that! Ah ha!

Anyways, Funmi had problems wit’ folks wishin’ her good luck, she freakin’ hated it.

I got a shocker the first time I wished her good luck wit’ her exams. Shawtie looked at me and retorted “Don’t wish me good luck, I don’t need it”

 I was like what! What is it your cute lil ass want, bad luck?

She broke it down for me by sayin’, “I don’t need good luck, I need God’s grace”.

Ah, smart ass chick, right? Did I mention she was deep into campus church fellowship and thing? Well, she was

Sunday

December 25

21: 13

Good Luck

Lately, or more specifically, since last week Monday, I’ve been givin’ the words “good luck” a lot of thoughts; the more I try to kick ‘em out of my head, the more they swim deep into my consciousness. May be I need good luck in the New Year. Of course, I do but why do those words make my blood boil, why?

I’ve become so obsessed wit’ the words, I now walk around wit’ them in my pocket. Huh uh, I tore the page out of my American heritage dictionary! As if that wasn’t enough, whenever I get on the internet, I ask Google what good luck is and I’ve been doin’ that for like a week now. Yeah, I know, am vergin’ on some X-file-Fringe type of shit!

These definitions are now tattooed word for word on my brain

An auspicious state resulting from favorable outcomes  

A stroke of luck

An unexpected piece of good luck; "he finally got his big break

The 7 Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins, now that’s somethin’ that got came off my new obsession. First time I came across the concept of the seven deadly sins was when I saw the movie of the same name, it starred Morgan Freeman and some other guys, and though I can’t really remember how the picture panned out again, but I sure can’t forget what the sins were.

What, y’all don’t know what the sins are? Shame on y’all! Nah am jus playin’.

Here’s a lil some I lifted from Wikipedia

“Beginning in the early 14th century, the popularity of the seven deadly sins as a theme among European artists of the time eventually helped to ingrain them in many areas of Catholic culture and Catholic consciousness in general throughout the world. One means of such ingraining was the creation of the mnemonic "SALIGIA" based on the first letters in Latin of the seven deadly sins: superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, acedia.”

Sneakin’ the above paragraph into this blog kinda make my shit look legit, huh? Lmao!

Anyways, the sins are Wrath, Greed, Slothfulness, Pride, Lust, Envy and Gluttony…so which one of these sins is your sinful ass guilty of, huh? Father Dobs will be coolin’ in the confession booth after this blog, get at him and get your confession on.

I know some of y’all are beginnin’ to get hot under the collar but hold it, am not tryna castigate your asses, I’ve got a bigger fish to fry. Did somebody jus’ say good luck wit’ that one? Well, thanks.

I checked in on the seven deadly sins specifically because of two of those sins, greed and gluttony.

Gluttony
The word was gotten from the Latin word gluttire or gula, meanin’ to gulp down or wolf. Flip open that dictionary of yours and it’d tell you that gluttony is the over-indulgence or over-consumption of anythin’ (especially food) to the point of waste.
 Christianity considers the excessive desire for food or withholding of food from the needy a sin and am sure a lot of cultures and religions feel the same way too, right?
My nigga, Thomas Aquinas (a church leader from back in the days) broke his view of gluttony down to include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods.
That nigga Aquinas even went as far as preparin’ a list of six ways to commit gluttony, check it out

Praepropere - eating too soon.

Laute - eating too expensively.

Nimis - eating too much.

Ardenter - eating too eagerly (burningly).

Studiose - eating too daintily (keenly).

Forente - eating wildly (boringly).

Phew! Pretty heavy, huh?

Greed

Greed (Latin, avaritia) is jus’ like gluttony; it’s a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to a very excessive or gluttonous desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power.
I read somewhere that greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.
A President Named Goodluck
Last week, it became public that the president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan wants one billion naira as his budget for food!
What the fuck, my freakin’ jaws seemed to have found a home of the floor since I read that! What, this bitch ass wants somethin’ in the neighborhood of 6.2 million American dollars for food only.
Men, what kinda food does this glutton have in mind, gold for breakfast, lunch and dinner? I don’t know what the budget for food for the president of America (unarguably the greatest country in the world) is, but am so freakin’ sure it’s nothin’ close to what this punk wants.
Now it kinda made sense why Funmi never wanted to be wished good luck those years ago, she musta seen this greedy glutton comin’. No God fearin’ leader, wait, let’s leave God outta this, no good leader should behave like this nigga. I hope this fool and his gluttonous crew choke on whatever food they’re goin’ to be bingin’ on in the New Year!
I wish y’all merry Christmas and good luck!

I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK

A While Back

A few moons back there was this Jada Pinkett-sized girl I was in school wit’, her name was Funmi. She was the kind of girl who was hard to forget and that un-forgetabilty has got nothin’ to do wit’ beauty. Shawtie was cute, smart as a whip (well, that was what it looked like from my few interactions with her) and my God, she could talk nineteen to the dozen!

And nah, I didn’t break out one of my special smooth operator’s moves on that ass?

Well, not really! Why not really?

See, by the time I got through knockin’ down some of her walls and we started bein’ cool with each other, there was already some other girl hangin’ on my freakin’ arm! This other chick got in the frame and hung there like a freakin’ spider. Did I say frame and spider? Nah, clip that, this chick was not jus’ in the frame, she was the whole picture, she fuckin’ caused the eclipse of them other chicks! Lol. There was no room left for kickin’ games on the side. Yeah, am faithful like that! Ah ha!

Anyways, Funmi had problems wit’ folks wishin’ her good luck, she freakin’ hated it.

I got a shocker the first time I wished her good luck wit’ her exams. Shawtie looked at me and retorted “Don’t wish me good luck, I don’t need it”

 I was like what! What is it your cute lil ass want, bad luck?

She broke it down for me by sayin’, “I don’t need good luck, I need God’s grace”.

Ah, smart ass chick, right? Did I mention she was deep into campus church fellowship and thing? Well, she was

Sunday

December 25

21: 13

Good Luck

Lately, or more specifically, since last week Monday, I’ve been givin’ the words “good luck” a lot of thoughts; the more I try to kick ‘em out of my head, the more they swim deep into my consciousness. May be I need good luck in the New Year. Of course, I do but why do those words make my blood boil, why?

I’ve become so obsessed wit’ the words, I now walk around wit’ them in my pocket. Huh uh, I tore the page out of my American heritage dictionary! As if that wasn’t enough, whenever I get on the internet, I ask Google what good luck is and I’ve been doin’ that for like a week now. Yeah, I know, am vergin’ on some X-file-Fringe type of shit!

These definitions are now tattooed word for word on my brain

An auspicious state resulting from favorable outcomes  

A stroke of luck

An unexpected piece of good luck; "he finally got his big break

The 7 Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins, now that’s somethin’ that got came off my new obsession. First time I came across the concept of the seven deadly sins was when I saw the movie of the same name, it starred Morgan Freeman and some other guys, and though I can’t really remember how the picture panned out again, but I sure can’t forget what the sins were.

What, y’all don’t know what the sins are? Shame on y’all! Nah am jus playin’.

Here’s a lil some I lifted from Wikipedia

“Beginning in the early 14th century, the popularity of the seven deadly sins as a theme among European artists of the time eventually helped to ingrain them in many areas of Catholic culture and Catholic consciousness in general throughout the world. One means of such ingraining was the creation of the mnemonic "SALIGIA" based on the first letters in Latin of the seven deadly sins: superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, acedia.”

Sneakin’ the above paragraph into this blog kinda make my shit look legit, huh? Lmao!

Anyways, the sins are Wrath, Greed, Slothfulness, Pride, Lust, Envy and Gluttony…so which one of these sins is your sinful ass guilty of, huh? Father Dobs will be coolin’ in the confession booth after this blog, get at him and get your confession on.

I know some of y’all are beginnin’ to get hot under the collar but hold it, am not tryna castigate your asses, I’ve got a bigger fish to fry. Did somebody jus’ say good luck wit’ that one? Well, thanks.

I checked in on the seven deadly sins specifically because of two of those sins, greed and gluttony.

Gluttony
The word was gotten from the Latin word gluttire or gula, meanin’ to gulp down or wolf. Flip open that dictionary of yours and it’d tell you that gluttony is the over-indulgence or over-consumption of anythin’ (especially food) to the point of waste.
 Christianity considers the excessive desire for food or withholding of food from the needy a sin and am sure a lot of cultures and religions feel the same way too, right?
My nigga, Thomas Aquinas (a church leader from back in the days) broke his view of gluttony down to include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods.
That nigga Aquinas even went as far as preparin’ a list of six ways to commit gluttony, check it out

Praepropere - eating too soon.

Laute - eating too expensively.

Nimis - eating too much.

Ardenter - eating too eagerly (burningly).

Studiose - eating too daintily (keenly).

Forente - eating wildly (boringly).

Phew! Pretty heavy, huh?

Greed

Greed (Latin, avaritia) is jus’ like gluttony; it’s a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to a very excessive or gluttonous desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power.
I read somewhere that greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.
A President Named Goodluck
Last week, it became public that the president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan wants one billion naira as his budget for food!
What the fuck, my freakin’ jaws seemed to have found a home of the floor since I read that! What, this bitch ass wants somethin’ in the neighborhood of 6.2 million American dollars for food only.
Men, what kinda food does this glutton have in mind, gold for breakfast, lunch and dinner? I don’t know what the budget for food for the president of America (unarguably the greatest country in the world) is, but am so freakin’ sure it’s nothin’ close to what this punk wants.
Now it kinda made sense why Funmi never wanted to be wished good luck those years ago, she musta seen this greedy glutton comin’. No God fearin’ leader, wait, let’s leave God outta this, no good leader should behave like this nigga. I hope this fool and his gluttonous crew choke on whatever food they’re goin’ to be bingin’ on in the New Year!
I wish y’all merry Christmas and good luck!

GOOD LUCK

A While Back

A few moons back there was this Jada Pinkett-sized girl I was in school wit’, her name was Funmi. She was the kind of girl who was hard to forget and that un-forgetabilty has got nothin’ to do wit’ beauty. Shawtie was cute, smart as a whip (well, that was what it looked like from my few interactions with her) and my God, she could talk nineteen to the dozen!

And nah, I didn’t break out one of my special smooth operator’s moves on that ass?

Well, not really! Why not really?

See, by the time I got through knockin’ down some of her walls and we started bein’ cool with each other, there was already some other girl hangin’ on my freakin’ arm! This other chick got in the frame and hung there like a freakin’ spider. Did I say frame and spider? Nah, clip that, this chick was not jus’ in the frame, she was the whole picture, she fuckin’ caused the eclipse of them other chicks! Lol. There was no room left for kickin’ games on the side. Yeah, am faithful like that! Ah ha!

Anyways, Funmi had problems wit’ folks wishin’ her good luck, she freakin’ hated it.

I got a shocker the first time I wished her good luck wit’ her exams. Shawtie looked at me and retorted “Don’t wish me good luck, I don’t need it”

 I was like what! What is it your cute lil ass want, bad luck?

She broke it down for me by sayin’, “I don’t need good luck, I need God’s grace”.

Ah, smart ass chick, right? Did I mention she was deep into campus church fellowship and thing? Well, she was

Sunday

December 25

21: 13

Good Luck

Lately, or more specifically, since last week Monday, I’ve been givin’ the words “good luck” a lot of thoughts; the more I try to kick ‘em out of my head, the more they swim deep into my consciousness. May be I need good luck in the New Year. Of course, I do but why do those words make my blood boil, why?

I’ve become so obsessed wit’ the words, I now walk around wit’ them in my pocket. Huh uh, I tore the page out of my American heritage dictionary! As if that wasn’t enough, whenever I get on the internet, I ask Google what good luck is and I’ve been doin’ that for like a week now. Yeah, I know, am vergin’ on some X-file-Fringe type of shit!

These definitions are now tattooed word for word on my brain

An auspicious state resulting from favorable outcomes  

A stroke of luck

An unexpected piece of good luck; "he finally got his big break

The 7 Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins, now that’s somethin’ that got came off my new obsession. First time I came across the concept of the seven deadly sins was when I saw the movie of the same name, it starred Morgan Freeman and some other guys, and though I can’t really remember how the picture panned out again, but I sure can’t forget what the sins were.

What, y’all don’t know what the sins are? Shame on y’all! Nah am jus playin’.

Here’s a lil some I lifted from Wikipedia

“Beginning in the early 14th century, the popularity of the seven deadly sins as a theme among European artists of the time eventually helped to ingrain them in many areas of Catholic culture and Catholic consciousness in general throughout the world. One means of such ingraining was the creation of the mnemonic "SALIGIA" based on the first letters in Latin of the seven deadly sins: superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, acedia.”

Sneakin’ the above paragraph into this blog kinda make my shit look legit, huh? Lmao!

Anyways, the sins are Wrath, Greed, Slothfulness, Pride, Lust, Envy and Gluttony…so which one of these sins is your sinful ass guilty of, huh? Father Dobs will be coolin’ in the confession booth after this blog, get at him and get your confession on.

I know some of y’all are beginnin’ to get hot under the collar but hold it, am not tryna castigate your asses, I’ve got a bigger fish to fry. Did somebody jus’ say good luck wit’ that one? Well, thanks.

I checked in on the seven deadly sins specifically because of two of those sins, greed and gluttony.

Gluttony
The word was gotten from the Latin word gluttire or gula, meanin’ to gulp down or wolf. Flip open that dictionary of yours and it’d tell you that gluttony is the over-indulgence or over-consumption of anythin’ (especially food) to the point of waste.
 Christianity considers the excessive desire for food or withholding of food from the needy a sin and am sure a lot of cultures and religions feel the same way too, right?
My nigga, Thomas Aquinas (a church leader from back in the days) broke his view of gluttony down to include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods.
That nigga Aquinas even went as far as preparin’ a list of six ways to commit gluttony, check it out

Praepropere - eating too soon.

Laute - eating too expensively.

Nimis - eating too much.

Ardenter - eating too eagerly (burningly).

Studiose - eating too daintily (keenly).

Forente - eating wildly (boringly).

Phew! Pretty heavy, huh?

Greed

Greed (Latin, avaritia) is jus’ like gluttony; it’s a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to a very excessive or gluttonous desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power.
I read somewhere that greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.
A President Named Goodluck
Last week, it became public that the president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan wants one billion naira as his budget for food!
What the fuck, my freakin’ jaws seemed to have found a home of the floor since I read that! What, this bitch ass wants somethin’ in the neighborhood of 6.2 million American dollars for food only.
Men, what kinda food does this glutton have in mind, gold for breakfast, lunch and dinner? I don’t know what the budget for food for the president of America (unarguably the greatest country in the world) is, but am so freakin’ sure it’s nothin’ close to what this punk wants.
Now it kinda made sense why Funmi never wanted to be wished good luck those years ago, she musta seen this greedy glutton comin’. No God fearin’ leader, wait, let’s leave God outta this, no good leader should behave like this nigga. I hope this fool and his gluttonous crew choke on whatever food they’re goin’ to be bingin’ on in the New Year!
I wish y’all merry Christmas and good luck!

FORCED REHAD

Boxin’ Day

Monday, December 26

14:00

She got me singin’

Thoin’ thoin’ thoin thoin’ thoin’ thoin’

I had her singin’

Thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’

I woke up wit’ a start, I was more than a little disconcerted, matter of fact, I felt like an addict sufferin’ from withdrawal syndrome. Oh wait, am an addict!

R. Kelly was on the radio screamin’ out how he had a girl singin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ and for what seemed like forever, I laid there on the bed in fetus position, I couldn’t figure out where I was, I took a deep breath, wiped beads of sweat off my face and exhaled.

I went to the fridge and knocked back an 840 millilitre bottle of water. Calmed by the cold colorless liquid in my throat, I sat back on the back, cupped my head in my palms and tried to collect my thoughts.

Slowly, it was all comin’ back to me, I had fallen asleep in the middle of somethin’, but what was it I was tryin’ to do again? For two whole minutes, I sat there tryin’ to think but I jus’ couldn’t put my finger on it. I reached for the radio and brought the volume down from 20 to 8 and jus’ at that moment it hit me what it was I was doin’ before I slipped into unconsciousness.

Seventeen Minutes Earlier

Seventeen minutes earlier, I was on the phone tryin’ to make a very important call. Did y’all notice the words “very important” in there? Yep, the call was so very important; you could compare it to an addict frantically tryin’ to holla at his dealer! Ok, maybe not that serious but it was important for me to reach my dealer.

Coolin’ on the bed, I had dialed the number and the caller ring back tune was playin’, I was jus’ waitin’ on one of my dealer’s men to pick the damn thing up but bam, the unexpected happened…I fucked dozed off!

14:06

But wait, why was my phone still ringin’ via the caller ring back tune? I reached for the phone from the beneath the laptop (I had no Idea how it got there), turned the display light on and that was when I realized I’d snoozed for fifteen minutes.

2.5 Hours Earlier

11:30

I’d been off the “drug” for close to 24 hours and that wasn’t a deliberate attempt on my part. Nah, I wasn’t tryin’ to kick this juicy addiction but I know one or two people who’d be more than happy to hear of my dilemma

It was like my “dealer” was deliberately tryin’ to take me to rahab without my permission. I fuckin’ felt like Amy Winehouse, men! What kinda dealer would do that to his customer, huh? Didn’t he know that moves like that ain’t good for his business?

Though I wasn’t exactly crawlin’ off the wall because of the jones, I needed a fix nonetheless. I was alil restless and I’d even started thinkin’ that may be my dealer was dead. So, jus’ to make certain, I picked up the phone and called.

12:01

Thirty minutes after I dialed customer service, I was still being entertained by the same metallic female voice which consistently told me, “all our agents are currently busy, please hold on and you will be attended to shortly”

What the fuck! Even if all the call agents were havin’ a sex orgy at work, it couldn’t have lasted thirty minutes. Both times I called; I deliberately left the phone on to see how long it’d take for somebody to attend to me

Am sure y’all know by now who my dealer is, right? The internet service of my mobile service provider’s been down for more than 24 hours now and from the look of things, the best their customer service department could do was play their stupid ass jingle over and over again and oh, I now know a place to listen to a jazz number when I want to sleep!

FORCED REHAD

Boxin’ Day

Monday, December 26

14:00

She got me singin’

Thoin’ thoin’ thoin thoin’ thoin’ thoin’

I had her singin’

Thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’

I woke up wit’ a start, I was more than a little disconcerted, matter of fact, I felt like an addict sufferin’ from withdrawal syndrome. Oh wait, am an addict!

R. Kelly was on the radio screamin’ out how he had a girl singin’ thoin’ thoin’ thoin’ and for what seemed like forever, I laid there on the bed in fetus position, I couldn’t figure out where I was, I took a deep breath, wiped beads of sweat off my face and exhaled.

I went to the fridge and knocked back an 840 millilitre bottle of water. Calmed by the cold colorless liquid in my throat, I sat back on the back, cupped my head in my palms and tried to collect my thoughts.

Slowly, it was all comin’ back to me, I had fallen asleep in the middle of somethin’, but what was it I was tryin’ to do again? For two whole minutes, I sat there tryin’ to think but I jus’ couldn’t put my finger on it. I reached for the radio and brought the volume down from 20 to 8 and jus’ at that moment it hit me what it was I was doin’ before I slipped into unconsciousness.

Seventeen Minutes Earlier

Seventeen minutes earlier, I was on the phone tryin’ to make a very important call. Did y’all notice the words “very important” in there? Yep, the call was so very important; you could compare it to an addict frantically tryin’ to holla at his dealer! Ok, maybe not that serious but it was important for me to reach my dealer.

Coolin’ on the bed, I had dialed the number and the caller ring back tune was playin’, I was jus’ waitin’ on one of my dealer’s men to pick the damn thing up but bam, the unexpected happened…I fucked dozed off!

14:06

But wait, why was my phone still ringin’ via the caller ring back tune? I reached for the phone from the beneath the laptop (I had no Idea how it got there), turned the display light on and that was when I realized I’d snoozed for fifteen minutes.

2.5 Hours Earlier

11:30

I’d been off the “drug” for close to 24 hours and that wasn’t a deliberate attempt on my part. Nah, I wasn’t tryin’ to kick this juicy addiction but I know one or two people who’d be more than happy to hear of my dilemma

It was like my “dealer” was deliberately tryin’ to take me to rahab without my permission. I fuckin’ felt like Amy Winehouse, men! What kinda dealer would do that to his customer, huh? Didn’t he know that moves like that ain’t good for his business?

Though I wasn’t exactly crawlin’ off the wall because of the jones, I needed a fix nonetheless. I was alil restless and I’d even started thinkin’ that may be my dealer was dead. So, jus’ to make certain, I picked up the phone and called.

12:01

Thirty minutes after I dialed customer service, I was still being entertained by the same metallic female voice which consistently told me, “all our agents are currently busy, please hold on and you will be attended to shortly”

What the fuck! Even if all the call agents were havin’ a sex orgy at work, it couldn’t have lasted thirty minutes. Both times I called; I deliberately left the phone on to see how long it’d take for somebody to attend to me

Am sure y’all know by now who my dealer is, right? The internet service of my mobile service provider’s been down for more than 24 hours now and from the look of things, the best their customer service department could do was play their stupid ass jingle over and over again and oh, I now know a place to listen to a jazz number when I want to sleep!