On Friday I caught the train down to the city to have a “study night” with my friend C. I say “study” because I am not sure how much we actually ended up doing! Perhaps that’s just the code name I used so I could go down and spend time with my new friend. We met just over a month ago on our first day of class. We were standing around waiting for the lecturer to arrive and just started talking. Since that day we’ve hit it off as best friends and it feels like we’ve known each other forever. C’s fiancé calls us twins even though we’re the complete opposite physically – me the “white as white” Aussie and C the “dark but lovely” African Australian – originating from Sierra Leone. Part of the reason we get on so well is I’ve spent time in Africa before and just warm to, love and accept people of all cultures. And Friday night turned out to be a cultural experience for real! I actually ended up leaving Sunday morning!
C lives with her fiancé CP, sister M and her mother affectionately known as “Big Mama”. When I first met the family I was told no one even knows her real name they just call her Big Mama. Like the movie she’s big, she’s round but she’s loving and affectionate and you immediately feel at ease in her presence. The first time I met her she had just come home from an outing and with a big smile she said, “Welcome to my home”. She hugged me and said, “You! I like! You are big like me! Not like my daughter,” glancing at C who has previously done modelling and has the body to match. Everyone immediately laughed. CP of Italian origin piped in “Mama you can’t say that!” But everyone was laughing, including me, I said it was fine! CP explained it’s just the African sense of humour. But it’s true, I am not the smallest of smallest girls. To my next surprise Mama removed a wig to reveal her curly grey Afro-hair and said, “Now you know my secret!” I had thought it was her real hair so I was quite in shock but laughing too! Mama couldn’t refrain her laughter either.
Me and C did end up getting a bit of study done but the majority of the time was spent looking at each other’s photos and talking as girls do. I planned on staying the night because it was too far and late to get home. I asked, “so where am I sleeping tonight?” Last time I had slept in M’s bed who was supposed to be out at a friend’s. And when she came home and discovered I was going to be sleeping in her bed she did not look too happy, although she had been upset that day so I was told not to let it bother me. Later C and I had our combined birthday party as we discovered our birthdays were only 5 days apart and decided to celebrate together. While we were lining up to get into the restaurant I apologised to M for sleeping in her bed, she said it was alright. Mama was shaking her head that I even apologised saying next time I would sleep in her bed! So C and her Mum looked at me. “What did we say last time?” C’s Mum asked. “Your bed,” I replied. C asked me if that was still okay and I said – of course; I didn’t mind. I loved Big Mama and I already felt like family by now. Mama said, “Don’t worry; I’m now an old woman to be making love to you so you don’t need to worry”. Oh my goodness I laughed! In Australia it’s not common to share a bed with family but in Africa it’s the norm. It personally didn’t bother me and I knew it would be fine and as CP explained to me, “you know how it is in Africa”.
That night I was trying to get to sleep; and you know how it is when you’re in a new place and sleeping in a new bed. Mama left the light on for me and I switched it off as I came in. As I got into my side of the bed I discovered the electric blanket was on and it was so hot I was sweating! Feeling a bit shy I didn’t want to say anything but endeavoured I was going to endure it. I pretty much only had a tiny bit of blanket on and stuck all my arms and legs out to avoid the heat! As I lay there trying to sleep – Mama was snoring away loudly! Haha! It didn’t bother me that much, but then downstairs I heard someone knocking on the door and calling out (someone knocking on the neighbour’s house). The knocking was not getting any quieter either! I was doomed not to get any sleep. Mum got up to go to the bathroom at one stage and I decided this was my chance to turn off the electric blanket! I found the switch and turned it off. I eventually started feeling exhausted and drifted in and out of sleep. The funny thing is I woke up feeling cold even though I went to bed feeling hot!
Saturday morning we all came down for breakfast. Mama asked me, “Did I snore?” I blushed a little and I said, “Nah Mum, you were alright.” The sisters looked at me and said they knew their Mum snored. They kept pressing me til I eventually said, “well maybe you were breathing a little loudly”. The whole family were laughing and carrying on. C asked me to give her five, telling her Mum, “see I told you so! Thank you HH, maybe now she will believe me.” Mama was funny asking me how she sounded and said “the funny thing is you wouldn’t know that you snore!” Then she started making different sounds asking me if that’s what her snore sounded like! Hahaha!
Mama started preparing a Sierra Leone dish with okra, fish and spices. She was so excited about me trying it once it was done. C asked me what time I was staying and asked if I was staying til Sunday? I was supposed to go home that Saturday but they wanted me to stay another day. I said, “I would love to as long as I am not bothering any one and you don’t mind”. Mama said, “No, of course not I can’t wait for you to try my okra – you’re going to love it.” In fact it was a delicious meal but very spicy! My white tastebuds were crying for some milk to cool the burn!
Mama was going out to a party with friends and since I shared a bed with Mama, C joked, “I don’t know Mum – is HH going to let you go out?” We were joking I was now her lover/ partner so I had to give permission. I asked Mama what time she would be home cos she had to be there to tuck me in! I said, “Make sure you behave yourself and don’t stay out too late!”
While Mama was out – C, M and I belted out the African music starting with a Sierra Leonean classic “Che Che” by Daddy Saj. C was showing me all the moves which require a lot of booty shaking and getting lower and lower! The girls had me dancing with them, I was feeling kinda embarrassed but I tried. I couldn’t quite shake it like them and as I got lower my thighs were giving way not wanting to hold me up and I kept falling. The girls were laughing as they danced wildly and kept encouraging me to do more. I couldn’t quite keep up, but I tried! The girls changed into short things but I just threw off my jacket. I was feeling exhausted by the end of that but I was told this is a regular occurrence in the household with all three girls dancing (Mum and daughters). But boy we were hot by the end of that!
Later Mama got home although we got to bed quite late. Sunday morning when the whole family was downstairs again, Mama loudly proclaimed, “I’ve got news for everyone!” CP jumped in, “Who’s pregnant?” Mama ignored him and said, “My news is... last night we very tired and in a moment of tiredness... HH snored!” The whole room burst out into laughter. Mama continued “she was so tired... she even put her arms around me in the night...” I was also laughing but I said, “Mama you are making that up!”
This morning I said goodbye to my adopted Sierra Leonean family but my time spent with them is not something I will easily forget. I will always cherish the memories and I can’t wait til next time!
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A FREN OF THIS BLOG.
